Mr A.

Hey, there.

Mr. B.

Hey, Jude.  What’s new?  (How is the world treating you?)

A.

I’m sitting on top of the world.  How about you?

B

(Sarcastically) I’ve got the world on a string.

A.

(Motioning upward) Take the “A” train?

B.

Never in a million years! Let’s take an old-fashioned walk, side by side.

A.

(Pointing left) Lonely Street?

B.

(Pointing right) Lonesome Road. South.  On the sunny side of the street.

A.

Has anyone here seen Kelly?  Five foot two, eyes of blue.  (Winking confidentially) The man with the golden arm.

B.

(Shaking his head, sadly) Kelly’s gone to Kingdom Come.

A.

(Downcast)  I’m looking for a guy who plays alto and baritone and doubles on a clarinet and wears a size 37 suit.  [ Note: Words, music Ozzie Nelson – 1940 ]

B.

A good man is hard to find.  (Snaps fingers) Jimbo Jambo !

A.

(With resignation) Until the real thing comes along. (Pause)  Have you heard?  I’ve found a new baby !

B.

(Cynically) Who?  What is THIS thing called, love?

A.

Hot Tamale Molly ! She’s got rings on her fingers and bells on her toes.

B.

(Exasperated) The girl from Ipanema?! The stripper?! “Hot Lips” ?! The “lady” is a tramp!

A.

How come you do me like you do?  Was that the human thing to do???  After you’ve gone – honky tonkin’ !

B.

Hangover.  It don’t mean a thing.  Angry?  I apologize.  What can I say, dear, after I say I’m sorry?

A.

(Persisting) She’s a great, great girl !  She’s my everything !

B.

(Aside) Oh, baby. To each his own.  (Brightly)  Ain’t that a grand and glorious feeling?

A.

Absolutely, positively ! What the world needs now is love!

B.

We need a lot more Jesus and a lot less rock and roll !  (Pause, then,,,) I had the craziest dream.  (Sighs) Dreamsville!  Ida, Louise, Daisy, Liza, Margie, Sweet Sue, Sweet Caroline, Sweet Lorraine, Mary (Mary’s a grand old name)!  Time after time !  Three o’clock in the morning !  I couldn’t sleep a wink last night !

A.

(Shaking his head) How insensitive !  (Shakes finger) Remember – the rockin’ pneumonia and the boogie woogie flu.  Don’t be that way !

B.

Darn that dream!  There’ll be some changes made! I’m gonna sit right down and write myself a letter!

A.

(Pausing and looking away)  Over there.  How much is that doggie in the window?

B.

What? - do you mean you’ve lost your dog?  [Note:Jos. Daly, Thos. Allen -1913]   Again?

A.

(Nodding morosely) My pet.  Alfie.

B.

(Concerned) Where or when?

A.

Down by the riverside. 11:30 Saturday night.  (In tears) I’ll never be the same.

B.

(Soothingly)  After hours - I cover the waterfront.  Put on a happy face.  Sing, sing, sing!

A.

(Looking at watch) I didn’t know what time it was.

B.

(Nodding)  The hour of parting.  Why don’t we do this more often?  It’s been so long.

A.

Sunday !  Down on Thoity-Thoid and Thoid. How about it? .

B.

It’s all right with me. Auf wiedersehn, sweetheart.

A.

(Waving) Adios.  Sayonara.

B.

See you later, Alligator.

A.

(With palms upturned) We just couldn’t say goodbye?

Both.

GOODBYE.